‘Kindness and compassion’
Greetings,
I was asked by In the Loop, the University’s weekly e-newsletter to write something about kindness and compassion for today’s edition.
But I thought I would share it with the mailing list too, as many people receiving these Companionship emails will not get In the Loop.
Kindness and Compassion
When I conduct weddings in the University Chapels, I often talk of being kind. A good number of couples choose a reading from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, including these words: “Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude.” When I draw attention to this verse, and say how simple the words are, yet how difficult they can be to fulfil in marriage, many people in chapel nod, or look ruefully at their plus-one, especially if they’ve been their plus-one for half a lifetime or more. Kindness is not that difficult to show to the stranger, the rarely-encountered colleague, the student on the other side of the world. It is the people close to us it’s harder to be kind to, people who share our house, our virtual office, our Teams and zoomunities (to coin a phrase).
It’s harder because they’re always there (or it feels that way). Their virtues we may have discounted long ago, but their irritating habits we somehow cannot overlook, or accept. And so in place of kindness comes impatience, annoyance and a lack of sympathy. We aren’t prepared to get into their shoes, to imagine life in their circumstances. We are too stressed ourselves to be kind.
The current pandemic, the world’s response, and the transformed University life may be bringing this to the surface. There are countless examples of kindness to neighbours and others across St Andrews, Fife, Scotland and the world. Turning up for work in the University for physical jobs in physical spaces when part of you would rather be at home. Overcoming anxiety about appearing stupid with technology. Donating time, effort, food, companionship and looroll. Not stockpiling. Long may such decency and generosity continue.
But there will also be countless occasions of kindness closer to home which may have emerged in the teeth of stress, anxiety and fear. Along with our indefatigable healthcare workers, this kindness too is to be applauded. I’m thinking of people asking a colleague (no matter how irritating) how they can help. Or students delaying the party till it’s safe. Or a manager saying to their team – “It’s OK not to do everything perfectly. It’s OK to have less time for work given your four year-old’s tireless love of The wheels on the bus go round and round. It’s OK to switch off from work even though the laptop is still there. It’s OK to be distracted by the news, and by worries for your parents. We’re all distracted.”
And that kindness can also be for ourselves. Perhaps especially this is a season for being compassionate to ourselves. We’re worried, fearful, tired, bored, anxious, unsure. We’re going to face dilemmas which seem to have no right option. We’re going to mess some things up. But this is a season for being OK with imperfection.
Of course that’s true in so-called normal times too. It’s true in relationships, the University and all our lives. Perfection lies beyond us. So let’s enjoy the necessary arts of kindness and compassion. We seem to have plenty of time for them.
Jesus’ story of the Good Samaritan is surely about kindness, caring for our neighbour then…
(Hanna Varghese, The Good Samaritan)
And now…
One zoomunity was those who gathered for Compline last night – from 36 locations. I saw students, staff, retired staff, former students, chaplains, townspeople and others taking part in this service of night prayer. I found myself hugely moved by being aware of so many people, scattered across St Andrews, Scotland and beyond, part of the University community, and drawn together in prayer to God.
We’ll meet for Sunday worship in the same way. Here is the invitation. Hope you can join in. I’ll send the order of service in advance.
Donald MacEwan is inviting you to a scheduled Zoom meeting.
Topic: University Worship Sunday 29 March 2020
Time: Mar 29, 2020 11:00 AM London
Join Zoom Meeting https://zoom.us/j/339178445
Meeting ID: 339 178 445
Take care, and have a good weekend.
Yours,
Donald.